Fall is in the air. Halloween is upon us. We’re about to move headlong into Winter. And you know what that means!? You guessed it. The Walking Dead is BACK! Season 7 Is sure to bring excitement, surprises, and a few sobs. We’ll finally know the answers to much debated mysteries. Who did Negan kill??? Tell us already AMC!
In preparation for such an event, we’ve put together a comprehensive countdown of must-haves for the zombie (ahem, I mean, walker) apocalypse in order of relevance and importance.
13. Keep your face warm with a yarn beard or beard/hat combo. Why not? Channel your inner Rick Grimes and let your facial hair down! Or don’t and go with a travel shaving kit. It’s your face. Love it!
12. In case you’re afraid of things that go bump in the night, try a bat by the bedside! Seems to work well for Negan. Or you could just take it with you to play a friendly game of baseball – another great Fall activity in the event that the walker take-over doesn’t occur this year. Your choice.
11. Let’s face it, people are probably going to want to smooch from time to time. We’re still only human, after all. Make sure your breath is fresh with a complete dental kit or breath mints. This tip is obviously good for any time of year as well as the apocalypse, so you might as well have both of these on hand at any given time, especially in the Fall, when things start to get a little more snuggly.
10. Haircuts will be a thing of luxury, unless you can find a safe-haven like Alexandria, but even that’s sure to be short term. Everyone is going to want a hair tie. This is not a joke. You’ve got to be on high alert and it’s hard to see what’s going on around you when your hair is continually obstructing your view. Either shave your head whenever you can or keep up with at least one hair tie!
9. We’re pretty sure sunscreen will be a premium item in the apocalypse, and something someone else may not think about until it’s too late. Be the smart one. Keep plenty of sunscreen AND aloe products on hand for yourself or to use as currency. Small sunscreen or aloe bottles could be a great trade for something else you might need on your apocalyptic journey.
8. If you watch the Walking Dead and you think, “Dang! These guys look like they stink!” They probably don’t. They’re actors on a television show with a really good make-up and effects department, but YOU definitely will! Whenever you find yourself in a creek, it sure would be convenient to have some of these soap sheets. And if you’re a dreamer, you could also take along a tide pen and pretend that you’re still civilized with stain free clothing. Good luck! You might need 100 of these to make it work, but hey, you live your dreams you crazy dreamers.
7. You need a hat. Didn’t your mom always tell you that you need to keep your head warm? You lose 10% of your body heat through an uncovered head! Your mom probably said half, but that’s a myth and we’re not here to perpetuate myths. But you do need that extra 10% when it gets cold during the end times. Cover it with a beanie, like Jesus, or go dual purpose and keep the sun out of your eyes with a baseball cap, a la Glenn. If you’re feeling really fancy, you could get a wide brimmed Sheriff hat like Carl, but that sure doesn’t seem very agile, so unless you’re out of sunscreen, we don’t recommend it.
6. It’s gonna be dark when the electricity stops working, y’all! Invest in a crank powered flashlight to keep the lights on. These nifty contraptions work without electricity or batteries! If you still have at least one hand (you’re in luck, Merle), you can use one of these “handy” crank powered gadgets. You see what we did there? We’re punny in the apocalypse, y’all! Punny!
5. Since the dawn of time, man has relied on fire to survive. Unparalleled when it comes to warmth and cooking, the ability to start a fire is a big deal. Make sure you don’t have to spend all of your time and energy rubbing two sticks together and get a flint fire starter. And for goodness sake, don’t build an open fire! Learn how to build a Dakota fire hole! They’re fuel efficient, easier to cook on, and more concealed. This little tip could save your life. You’re welcome.
4. You’re going to have to fix stuff along the way. Remember all that handy work that continually needs to be done on the Dale’s RV? Bring along the utiliKEY. It’s lightweight (also important when you’re carrying all of your belongings on your back) and packed with function. A general multi-tool is another great choice.
3. Vehicles will eventually stop working so you’re going to have to hoof it from time to time. This means you’re going to have to carry all of your stuff with you. How big are your pockets? Not big enough for the stuff you need? Then get a backpack or duffel bag and guard it with your life. Literally.
The final two are MUST HAVE items. Do not leave home without them during the zombie apocalypse.
2. Water is one of the most important keys for survival. If you carry nothing else, definitely carry a water bottle. We suggest one with a wide mouth for easier on-the-go filling. You might consider carrying more than a couple of these. Since space in your bag will be a premium, you also might consider the collapsible bag variety. Perhaps several of each will do the trick.
1. Safety first! Safety when the walkers start roaming is a little different than safety today. You won’t need a bright yellow vest or safety glasses; you will need a reliable knife! Basically the exact opposite of what you think for safety today will be the focus of safety in the apocalypse. Get a knife and learn how to use it.
And there you have it! Our list for the day the dead stake their claim. We sincerely hope you never have to use it. Either way, enjoy the premiere of Season 7 of The Walking Dead. We most definitely will!
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