Politics and Promotional Products

I have to admit: I am enamored with this political season. I love the gamesmanship of the candidates, watching the debates and arguing (soft debating) with my friend and co-workers.

Candidly, I don’t have a dog in this year’s presidential race, as it’s my personal opinion that neither of the candidates are very good and that the entire system is broken and quasi corrupt. I won’t go into more detail for now, but if you see me at a show and you want to talk politics, we can rant and rave about the election with a couple of cold ones.

As I lay awake in bed last night at 3 a.m., my sleep-deprived brain started taking the race in some interesting directions. I began to wonder: if I was putting together a company and could only hire prominent members of the political arena, who would I pick, and for which roles? And, most importantly, would they survive in my company?

My picks are as follows:

• Mitt Romney, CEO. He has real world experience. He knows how to manage cash. He knows how to make strategic investments. And he speaks in English rather than political sound bytes.

• Barack Obama, CMO. This guy could sell ice to an Eskimo. He is highly intuitive and knows how to read/react to situations. He embraces technology an has an appetite for innovation.

• Ron Paul, CFO. Ron is the man. His people skills leave something to be desired, and he has the personality of a monkey, but he is a stud when it comes to money. He would run a cash efficient business, and would know how to survive in any financial situation.

• Al Gore, VP HR. Al thrives on political correctness, so he’s a natural match for HR. He would be great at leading eco initiatives and could keep his eyes off the ladies and on the trees.

• Bill Clinton, VP of Sales. Bill has charm and knows how to work the system. He knows when to give and when to take. And occasionally, he knows how to eliminate the competition. He’s not afraid to get dirty (and be dirty) to get what he wants. And most importantly, his team loves working for him.

• Sarah Palin, Event Coordinator. Sarah is a chummy lad who would charm clients with a wink and a smile. The dudes would think she is attractive, especially when she talks about huntin’ and fishin’. She’d win the over, “you betcha.”

And then there are those politicians you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to hire. People like Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, and even good ol’ George W. make the list of folks I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.

What does this have to do with promotional products? A business lives or dies by hiring the right people, so make sure you only invite the best to “get on the bus.”

Over the next 18 months, your company will be tested; surrounding yourself with people you can count on will help ensure you ride out the downturn and come out on top.
-JB

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